Jordan’s Story

“Work, use, isolate, sleep, and repeat. Hindsight is always 20/20 and this was what my addiction looked like. Like many, my use did not start out as an addiction. It started out as a social engagement. However, what started as a social aspect turned into a constant wanting to use. Whenever I was not working, I was drinking and using Xanax. If I was not working and using, I was thinking about when the next time I could. Like many I thought, ‘I do not have a problem. Others do but I don’t’. Oh the lies that addicts tell themselves. Then, my use got me in trouble at work in May 2026 and I had to leave work. You think this would be my bottom…. But it was not. Instead I binged even more. Drank more. Used more Xanax. Spiraled. Guilt and shame was not enough. Like many of addicts, I also suffer from Mental Health disorders. The day that changed it all. July 7, 2026. I binged all 4th of July weekend, but this binge was different. I was sad, isolated, and suicidal. Like many Midwesterners, I own guns…. You can see where this could go… Luckily, on July 7, I had a telehealth with my primary therapist. We have a really good rapport and I was able to truly tell her the state I was in. All it took was me asking, ‘I need help don’t I’? And her giving me that loving look and responding ‘yes’.

This is where my journey began. She gave me a number to call, but they could not help because they were not a dual diagnosis facility so they gave me another number. I called that number, and to this day I have no clue who I talked to, but they were able to help. Before I knew it I was headed to Omaha to catch a plane to BOCA in Massachusetts. Even on the way, I was not sure how invested I was. I arrived on Wednesday July 8, 2026 sometime in the afternoon. After about 24 hours of travel I sat in the intake room, sweating my butt off starting to detox. Longest intake of my life! But it was then that I realized it was real. I am 1,200 miles from home, broke, sad, and detoxing. This is when I decided, we are going to do this! I dove headfirst into the program at BOCA. I got through my detox week, and then the real work began during residential time. Now, I’m a nurse, but I’m an addict first. I went into groups with an open mind wanting to learn more about myself and my addictive behaviors. At times I felt I already knew what was being taught, but a majority of the time I was learning. I participated, took notes, and kept every single handout given to me. As positive as this sounds, I will be the first to admit that I was not always the best patient. I had my fair share of crash outs. Anger, confusion, frustration. However, the wonderful staff at Boca was ready for this and helped me through all of these emotions. From being upset about phone times, chucking my water bottle and screaming at 10:30 at night, and freaking out in the director’s office. I had many raw emotions that I did not know how to deal with, as I did not have my ‘old coping mechanism’ to use. 28 days. 28 days of structure, groups, guidance, and learning! I was discharged on my Birthday, August 5! The best birthday present I have ever given myself.

Now, post discharge, I am living a clean life at home. July 8, 2026 is my sobriety date! When I left, I had plans in place and I hit the ground running! I attend IOP groups 3 times a week, individual drug/alcohol counseling once a week, Primary therapy appointments once a week, and I have settled into my home group NA that meets on Sunday and Thursday’s. I continue to learn and grow, and I have found a community of support. Speaking of support. I live in a small town of 2,000, so when I first came home I was nervous on what would be thought. I knew that the community knew I was in treatment, but I didn’t know what that meant on my return. To my surprise, I’ve had nothing but the greatest support! Even better, I have had many of people come and tell me that they had been praying for me. Many of my friends told me that they had been worried about me before I went to treatment. That I did not look well and they were concerned for me, but they didn’t feel like they could tell me. Returning from treatment, many of my friends have told me that prayers were answered. I just recently accepted a nursing job and will be returning to work! I am clean and Serene today! Boca truly helped give me the tools to give me back my life!”

If you or someone you love is thinking about suicide, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. It is free, confidential and available 24 hours a day.