Key Facts
- Eating disorders in kids are mental health conditions that demand attention, as they can be fatal.
- Neither kids nor parents are to blame for eating disorders.
- There are several kinds of eating disorders. Only professionals can diagnose them.
- Subtle behavioral and physical signs can suggest an eating disorder.
- With adequate support and expert assistance, recovery is possible.
Eating Disorders in Kids: What Parents Need to Know
Anyone can develop an eating disorder, but children, teenagers, and young adults are particularly at risk. If you’re a parent, there are some things you need to know about kids and eating disorders.
What An Eating Disorder Is (and What It Isn’t)
When eating disorders present during childhood or adolescence, parents or peers may misunderstand them as just a phase of growing up, or even as merely choices. However, these are dangerous beliefs.
Eating disorders are mental health conditions recognized by medical experts as potentially severe diseases that can affect anyone. They are not caused by parents or a tool children use to seek attention.
Eating disorders can disrupt how a young person functions socially, and among mental health disorders, they have the highest mortality rates.
These conditions result from an interplay between biological and social factors. Kids that may look fine or within an average weight range for their age may be experiencing distress and partaking in secret, damaging behaviors.
If you suspect a young one in your life is struggling with an eating disorder, the warning signs include:
Behaviors
Eating habits such as skipping meals, avoiding foods they once loved, worrying about counting calories, taking laxatives, engaging in intense exercise routines and weighing themselves constantly.
Distress
Avoiding social situations due to concern about eating.
Health changes
Rapid weight loss, dizziness, menstrual cycle changes, extreme tiredness and becoming sick after meals.
Even if a child manifests all or some of the listed symptoms, how you approach them is extremely important. Don’t lash out at them, or tell them to “just eat” or behave better.
Professionals are trained to address eating disorders, and your child deserves the best care possible.
Common Eating Disorders in Children and Teens
Eating disorders in children and teens can arise unexpectedly, and signs may be subtle.
Learning how specific eating disorders manifest is worth investing time in if you suspect your child may be struggling. Common patterns of disordered eating include:
Restricted eating and fear of weight gain
Anorexia nervosa and atypical anorexia are characterized by these behaviors.
Bingeing and purging
Children with bulimia binge food and follow these episodes with purging (such as vomiting) or compensatory behaviors (including compulsive exercise). In contrast, binge eating disorder doesn’t involve purging episodes.
Avoidance patterns
Young individuals with avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) avoid food for various reasons, such as a lack of interest, fears of choking, or a disgust toward specific textures. Children with other specified feeding or eating disorders (OSFED) don’t meet the criteria for particular eating disorders, yet still present considerable distress and negative consequences.
Additionally, mental health conditions, such as depression, trauma, anxiety, OCD traits, body image issues, perfectionism and heightened sensory sensitivity, may predispose or aggravate eating disorders, highlighting the need for specialized therapeutic help.
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Warning Signs of Eating Disorders in Children and Teens
Multiple warning signs can indicate a child is struggling with disordered eating.
Food, Eating and Mealtime Behaviors That Raise Concern
While eating disorder symptoms are often subtle, there are certain signs to look out for. These include:
Frequently skipping meals
Eliminating food groups that they previously liked
Excessive preoccupation with healthy eating
Avoiding eating in public
Preferring tiny portions
Throwing away or hiding food
Adopting new dietary patterns out of the sudden, such as veganism
Becoming sick after meals
Binge-like behaviors, such as secretive eating followed by compensatory behaviors, including vomiting or intense exercise regimes
Emotional and Behavioral Signs Parents Often Notice First
Parents know their children better than anyone and are often the first to recognize important emotional and behavioral changes such as
Frequent irritability
Anxiousness around meal times
Withdrawal from social situations where eating occurs
Severe mood swings
Shame about body image
Increased preoccupation with appearance
Constant weighing themselves
School performance shifts
Difficulties concentrating
Sleep disturbances
Non-negotiable rules about what they eat
Restlessness or guilt after eating
Physical and Medical Red Flags: When to Seek Urgent Help
While signs of the early stages of an eating disorder are often subtle, symptoms grow more obvious and may even become life-threatening as the condition advances. If your child exhibits any of the following, seek help immediately:
Dizziness or fainting spells
Chest pain or rapid heartbeat
Sudden weight loss
Breathing difficulties
Feeling cold
Extreme tiredness
Losing hair excessively
Stomach issues
Tooth decay
Developmental disturbances, such as stalled growth, menstrual irregularities and delayed puberty
If your child experiences extreme lethargy, faints, appears confused, cannot keep what they eat or drink, has blood in vomit or stools or presents self-harm ideation, please seek urgent medical help.
How to Talk to Your Child About an Eating Disorder
Talking to your child about a potential eating disorder is probably going to be the most difficult conversation you will ever have. It’s also the most important, because it’s a conversation that may well save your child’s life.
Prepare for a Supportive, Effective Conversation
As a parent, you may intuitively react to disciplining your child when something is not the way you think it should be. However, eating disorders are mental health conditions, not just a rebellious kid acting up.
So, to begin, it’s best to approach this topic with warmth, grounded in your profound desire to help your child. Don’t follow an intervention-style approach. Instead, pick a calm moment when food isn’t a part of the situation and genuinely aim to listen more than lecture.
Observations such as “I’ve noticed…”, “I’m worried because…”, and “I’m here with you” can be good starting points.
What to Say (And What to Avoid Saying)
Following a precise script when wanting to connect with someone emotionally may not land as well as intended, but robust principles, such as avoiding language that shames and validating the difficulties of the reality your kid is living through, can be beneficial.
Examples of positive phrases to use include:
“We’ll figure it out together.”
“You deserve help.”
“What you’re going through is tough.”
Don’t lead the conversation with remarks about their appearance or how much weight they have lost. In addition, trying to logically explain that what they’re doing can harm them, while true, may backfire. Especially at this initial stage of establishing communication lines intended to help them access qualified care.
If Your Child Denies the Problem, Gets Angry or Refuses Help
Eating disorders are not something children are eager to admit, so defensiveness about the topic is to be expected.
Remember, you must keep your cool at all times while emphasising that you want them to be safe and develop a plan together to get them the care they need.
Establishing boundaries at this stage can be helpful. For instance:
Propose making an appointment with a mental health professional
Offer support meals while figuring out what’s happening
Remember that it’s your responsibility to keep them safe as they live in your household, even if they are a teenager
Based on the level of resistance you face and the potential for harm, a firm approach to obtaining medical evaluation may be required.
Getting Help: Evaluation, Treatment, and What to Expect
Often, the first and most important step toward recovery is seeking professional help. Here’s what to expect:
Start with a Medical Evaluation
Underestimating the potential severity of eating disorders is unwise, as harm can occur without notice. This is even the case if the symptoms seem “mild.”
When seeking medical help, ask for an eating-disorder-informed assessment. At Boca Recovery Center, we begin our eating disorder treatment with a comprehensive evaluation of each client’s needs.
During your visit, your child may be evaluated in:
Developmental progress
Blood tests
General health status
Heart health
Eating behavior patterns
These evaluations help our therapists customize a treatment plan based on your child’s unique condition, symptoms, and treatment history.
If your pediatrician or trusted professional is not informed about eating disorders, asking for a referral for specialized support for children or teens may be the best route to take.
Building a Treatment Team (And Questions to Ask)
The precise eating disorder treatment plan for your child, if needed, will be designed by a care team that may include clinicians, therapists, dietitians and mental health professionals, based on your insurance and the level of care required.
It’s a good idea, before deciding what healing path to take, to ask providers about their expertise in treating children with eating disorders, as working with experts in young lives may be more beneficial.
Practical information about how programs work, what is expected from family members, integration into school life and help with accessing insurance coverage are all important and should be asked about to make the best choices for your child.
Eating disorder treatment plans at Boca Recovery Center often incorporate a blend of psychotherapy, nutritional counseling, and medical monitoring to help clients overcome their symptoms and make strides toward a healthier future. We also offer life skills training focused on identifying harmful habits and learning new ways to problem-solve, cope with stress, and manage triggers as they appear.
Levels of Care and Evidence-Based Options
There are multiple treatment paths available for recovering from eating disorders.
Some involve residential care for 24/7 clinical support, such as inpatient programs, while, based on clinical features or progress in recovery, partial hospitalization programs or alternative part-time outpatient modalities can facilitate less disruptive recovery protocols.
The best path for your child will depend on their specific needs, as determined by a qualified assessment and on how they evolve through the continuum of care.
Programs integrate physical protocols to help children gain weight when needed and receive adequate nutrition to support their body’s rehabilitation.
In both our inpatient and outpatient programs, clients at Boca Recovery Center will attend individual and group therapy, where they’ll discover how to heal their relationship with food. Individuals who stay on-site with us will have the opportunity to put their new skills into practice at regular mealtimes.
Supporting Your Child at Home During Recovery
If you’re helping your child recover from an eating disorder at home, there are some helpful strategies that can reduce anxiety, prevent conflict, and support sustained progress.
Meal Support Basics: Structure, Supervision and Reducing Negotiation)
Follow your child’s care team recommendations for meals. Meal frequency, including snacks, will be determined based on nutritional status, developmental stage and progress.
Usually, a predictable routine will be established by medical experts, so do your best to stick to it so your child can follow a rhythm that helps them retrain from the restriction cycles that can characterize eating disorders.
If rituals around eating generate anxiousness or uncomfortable emotions, clinicians may teach you some coping techniques for reducing distress, so learn and apply them based on instructions.
Resistance is expected, so try to remain calm yet firm with the program you are embarking on as a family, constantly reminding your child that it’s all for their well-being.
Creating a Food-Neutral, Body-Neutral, Non-Diet Household
Based on your child’s care team’s diagnosis, they may recommend relearning some concepts and language around food.
Ask for guidance on what it means to have a balanced diet for your child’s developmental stage and food preferences. Try to minimize conversations about ideal beauty standards rooted in preconceived notions of appearance.
Don’t label some foods as ‘’good’’ or ‘’bad’’ based on what you read online. Always follow your clinician’s instructions as each treatment plan is highly personalized.
Co-Regulation, Emotional Skills, and Boundaries
Treatment for eating disorders in children and teens often involves developing new parenting skills. These may include learning how to:
Talk to your children firmly but calmly
Establish predictable routines
Identify triggers
Label emotions
Build coping strategies
Develop safe boundaries based on clinical instructions
Use your access to qualified professionals as an opportunity to grow as a person and parent. Every day, you can develop new skills to communicate better and be a more effective individual.
Keeping Recovery on Track Outside the Home
Kids in recovery are still kids. And that means they can’t be with you all the time. But there are things you can do to help keep them on track in their recovery, even when they’re away from home.
School, Sports, Friends and Social Media
A critical component of treatment programs for eating disorders is how best practices and coping strategies integrate into a child’s everyday life.
Your care team will assist you with guidance for:
Meal and snacks planning
Supervision techniques, if required
Tailored workloads while a child recovers their strength
Exercise intensity recommendations
Best practices for social media consumption
Strategies for safe socialization activities
While it may be tempting to try to shield your child from all potential triggers and risky scenarios, that’s both unfeasible and potentially unhealthy. Children need to resume normal developmental stages, and with adequate professional support, they can do it safely.
Setbacks, Relapse Prevention, and Family Support Over Time
Relapse is always a possibility when dealing with eating disorders, as behavioral change takes time.
Adopting a suspicious attitude is not recommended as it may erode trust with your child. However, pay attention to the following early warning signs that may require taking action:
Skipping meals
Rising rigidity around what and what not to eat
Increased body checking
Exercise creep
Renewed secrecy
If you notice any of these warning signs, it’s best to seek support from your care team before taking disciplinary actions.
In the case of a confirmed relapse episode, medical professionals will renew therapeutic strategies and possibly coordinate nutritional support, but it will depend on your child’s unique case.
Throughout the whole recovery process, it’s wise to keep communication channels open within the family unit, so everyone feels heard, and others, such as siblings, are cared for while your child battles an eating disorder.
If you feel burned out, which is a possibility, share these emotions with your child’s care team. They can provide family coping strategies to help maintain a healthy attitude.
FAQs
Can my child recover from an eating disorder? How long does it take?
Children can recover from eating disorders, but it’s not a linear process with predetermined timelines. Accessing structured treatment can improve outcomes by teaching skills for coping, daily functioning and nutritional support.
Do I need to monitor my child’s weight or food at home?
You may need to monitor your child’s weight or food intake, but this will depend on medical guidance. Eating disorders have unique patterns and treatment protocols, so while structure around meals and healthy nutritional support may overlap across disorders, you should stick to your healthcare provider’s recommendations about food intake and weight management.
What if my teen is 18+ and refuses treatment?
If your teen is 18+ and lives at home, you should set boundaries based on medical instructions according to their specific eating disorder. A calm, concerned approach is recommended. Accessing therapy as a family may help develop skills for harmonious coexistence.
How do I know if this is an emergency?
If your child faints, experiences chest pain, is confused, vomits, has self-harm thoughts or has blood in their stools or vomit, please seek urgent medical care. It’s always best to err on the side of caution, as eating disorders can have consequences that may escalate rapidly.
Find Treatment Near You
Boca Recovery Center is a leading addiction treatment provider with locations across the United States. We also treat individuals who suffer from co-occurring conditions, including eating disorders.
We offer convenient outpatient treatment programs, as well as residential care, for clients seeking a safe, supportive setting to begin their recovery. If you’re ready to help your child find help, reach out to our admissions team. We’re available 24/7 to take your call. We know this first step can be challenging, so let’s take it together.
